shimmers.

shimmers like a california sunset...

door of happiness.

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.    -Helen Keller 

Location: Carmel by the Sea, California

head in the clouds.

happy birthday, wifey!!

direct correlation.

      There is a direct correlation between the level of happiness in one's life and the amount of silliness they allow into it.

Childrens Hospital Los Angeles

My first week of work went incredible! While it was mostly orientation lectures, I met a lot of great people (my co-workers!) and had a lot of fun swiping my ID badge to learn my way around CHLA! Here are some random things I learned this week: 1. Childrens was established over 100 years ago in 1901. That's crazy! 2. About 8,000 people are in and out of the hospital in a day. That would be like if the entire town I lived in this summer all came to see me at work on Monday (which I would love it if they did ... I kinda miss that place!) 3. We are among the top children's hospitals in the world and receive patients and visit patients (I'm currently investigating how to be a part of the team that does this) from LA to China to Africa. 4. The hospital is only 6 miles from my apartment. For every minute later I leave (after 6:45), it adds and extra 5 minutes onto my drive. I've made it there in less than 10 minutes but I have also made it there in over 45 minutes. 5. The Versant Nurse Residency Program was founded at CHLA 10 years ago and is now at over 50 hospitals in the country. I am the 19th cohort to be in the program and will graduate (and get life back!) in February! =)    

RIP Hercules

Hercules' (Jordan's cat who lived with us for an entire semester) life was tragically taken from him on Tuesday. We will miss you, Herc-Man! ='(

accidental date.

I have never been on a date, in the traditional sense of the word. Sure, I've had a boyfriend that has taken me out for anniversaries or been on casual double dates in pathetic attempts to hook my friends up with his friends or drank beer and ate pizza with the guys next door but I have never actually went out to dinner-- or even more serious on a day date like for coffee or a museum (because you know it means something extra special when they are willing to take time out of their day to see you) -- with the intention of getting to know a guy you weren't previously friends with to see if they are worthwhile (my new fave word to associate with people of the opposite sex... i.e. if he makes you cry more than you laugh, he would not be deemed worthwhile). The thought of going on dates completely irks me and I was recently reminded of why. When Grams and I were in San Francisco, we decided to take a cable car down to the pier to see the sea lions. We were so proud of ourselves for successfully using our muni passes to access the public transit, we completely forgot to find out where we supposed to get off and were suddenly vastly unwinding through the streets of San Fran. Having no idea what we were even looking for, my dazed and confused expression gave the nice man sitting in front of us the perfect opportunity to strike up a conversation. Next thing I know the local Angelino (one native to the Los Angeles area) was giving me his number and assuring Grams (who he repeatedly mistook as my mother) if I needed anything, he would be happy to help. Thanks, Dad! That's very kind but I normally resort to google or garmin (and not complete strangers) to answer my questions. Well, this accidental date did not stop on the cable car. "The nice man", as Grams kept calling him, waited for us when we got off... of course, he was just going down to the Bay to walk around too... Next thing you know it's 4 hours later and we've walked thirty blocks, shared a banana spilt from the original Ghirardelli Chocolate (because Grams agreed that it would be a "great idea"!) and learned his entire life story through a question and answer session between him and Grams, where I sat mutely at the table ruminating about writing this very blog post. As he licked the chocolate off of his spoon and awkwardly tried to gaze into my eyes, I realized that unless I marry my roommate's brother, I will probably remain single for the rest of my life because the concept of dating totally weirds me out. It perturbs me to talk about myself; to pose some sales pitch as to why I would make a great wife, or even worse, an awesome mother to his kids because he's "single, you know.. and ready to buy a house and settle down." Kudos to you, dude but I'm not interested. Not interested in the fact that you held the door for me (like a real gentleman). Not interested in the fact that you paid for my hot cocoa (with your own, hard earned dollar).  Not interested in the fact that you complimented my hideous $14 touristy San Fran fleece I was forced to purchase when the temp dropped 40 degrees without warning (and probably would find me just as pretty in twenty years wearing scrubs with no make-up on, too). Not interested in the fact that you are a lobbyist for a non-profit org to get housing for the poor (a selfless, humanitarian. classic). Not interested in the fact that you will never leave LA because you "love the culture of a big city" (my main motivation for moving to LA and one my strongest attraction to guys). Not interested in the fact that you're in your late twenties and not afraid of commitment (I've never met a guy who wasn't afraid of having more responsibility than remembering to watch Nip/Tuck every Tuesday). Why wasn't I in the least bit interested in meeting a seemingly decent guy? Why would I rather be single than explore the city of beautiful people I just moved to if it meant having to date to get to know them? I've watched every episode of Sex & the City and still have no interest in joining the twenty-somethings who casually date. I fear I'm going to live a life as lonely as the prisoners exiled to Alcatraz... which was ironically lingering in the distance of our accidental date... 

Yellowstone National Park

old faithful.

mud volcano.

Devil's Tower, Wyoming

wildlife.

One of my favorite parts of our trip over (and down) to LA was all the different wildlife we encountered. We saw pheasants and antelope down through the Dakotas. While looking at Mount Rushmore, there were mountain goats watching everyone from a cliff above us. From there, we traveled to Devil's Tower, Wyoming when there were rattlesnakes and a prairie dog farm with a million little holes for them to get lost in. I lost track of all the animals we saw when we entered Yellowstone National Park. There were herds of buffalo roaming free. We saw a black bear, a coyote and even osprey in their nest. My favorite animal was a mummy elk with her baby (laying in the grass behind her) drinking in a river. Not much of anything driving through the deserts in Nevada but when we reached the Pacific Coast we saw tons of sea lions in the San Francisco Bay and all down the 10-hour drive along the coast. 

wants & wishes

I want to know what's below the surface. I wish I hadn't fallen so deep.

I want to be swept off my feet.  I wish I was more grounded.

I want to discover what's unwritten. I wish we were on the same page.

I want to understand what you're thinking. I wish you didn't consume my thoughts. 

I want to find our happy ending. I wish we could go back to the beginning.

pacific coast highway.

... the gods do not deduct from mans allotted time, the hours spent whale watching...

cracks in our foundation.

My fingertips are holding on to the cracks in our foundation.

I know that I should let go but I can't.