circle of friends-full circle.

Friends are the family you chose.

I've tried to write this post only a jakillion times in the past two months {after we met for our annual roommate reunion in San Diego the first weekend in June} and somehow I can never seem to find the perfect weaving of words to describe how special the dynamic is that fills the room when we're together. How their presence in my life inspires me. What our weekend rendezvous do for my soul. What the memories we have made together mean to me. 

We're more than just friends... bigger than best friends... deeper than soul sisters... perhaps there is just not a single term that defines us... more like a story that is slowing ripening, continually evolving as we grow, consistently strengthening as we do, individually + together. 

Jess + Megan (on the right) have known each other since kindergarten. Carly + I (on the left) met at a school dance in the fourth grade when she asked to trade boyfriends. {for the record, I said no.} We all knew each other in high school but hung out in very different cliques. 

Jess + I became closer throughout our four years at E.H.S., first sharing our lockers for logistical purposes freshman year and then leading our class as president + vice for the latter three. 

Carly + Megan bonded on the weekends over boys + handstand contests {sorry ladies, that just still cracks me up when I think about in comparison what {un}innocent things I was doing on the weekends!} and they became close friends, too!

... and then we all ended up at the same university three hours from home after one Homecoming queen crown, one valedictorian speech and a glorious graduation that closed the {year}book on our dreaded high school days. Peace out, '04!

Jess + I ordered matching hibiscus + striped bedding from PBTeen to commence our dorming adventures together and coincidentally, Carly + Megan were dormmates in the hall one grassy lawn away from ours! One random afternoon, we ran in to them when we were going apartment shopping for our big move off campus the following Fall. We invited them along because they were planning on moving out of campus housing, too.

We started the morning off looking at two-bedroom floor plans and by the end of the day, like some perfect act of the friendship gods, we finalized our selection over a few Moo-Moo Mr. Cows on a four-bedroom place {which could possibly go down as the world's easiest apartment hunt in apartment searching history!}

We didn't realize it at the time but it was the beginning of one beautiful friendship... between four completely different girls... at a time in our lives when we would need one another the most.  

We headed home for the summer and everyone warned us that moving in with friends was a bad idea. 4 girls in one apartment? You'll end up hating each other. I'm so glad we blatantly ignored the wrongful advice and carried on painting every wall some insanely bright shades of green + yellow in our new apartment... and began filling the picture frames with tangible memories that would turn our apartment full-o-life into a home-away-from-home. We called it our apartment sweet apartment. 

We quickly became an inseparable sisterhood {Lynly Ganica} and it didn't take long for us to realize that the days were over when we would ever part from each other's low-rise-jean-clad hips. Akin to the way a mother describes her inability to remember a life before having babies, I cannot remember a life without the three of them in it. 

We decorated our doors for every birthday with embarrassing pictures. We made breakfast together every Sunday. We coordinated Halloween costumes. We spent hours getting ready to go out and even more hours laying in one of our beds laughing all night with a bottle of wine and fresh made Funfetti cupcakes. We were there the night(s) we realized we were in love and we helped each other through the messy break-ups that eventually followed. We found our individual niches in cheerleading, improv, group fitness and intramurals. We cooked holiday feasts + hosted ostentatious jubilees. We joined the facebook. We took our four completely different styles and made one communal closet. We studied together and advised each other on which major we should stick with {which I think between the four of us changed about sixteen different times}. We had a new appreciation for 80's music, DMB and Tom Petty. We roadtripped to football games, FL/GA, surfing in St. Augustine and cabins in the mountains. We made an infinite amount of incredible memories and as each new semester started, I was so happy that we continually renewed our lease... and they would continue to reside across the hall. 

Graduation weekend was one of the best memories where we got to have our proverbial cake and eat it, too!. We had done it! and we merrily skipped across the stage in an itchy, oversized polyster gown with a Gator emblem glittered on the top of our caps to receive the diploma that proved it. Our families surrounded us and we hosted one last keg party to celebrate our accomplishments! 

But when the weekend festivities came to an end, everyone headed home and just the four of us were left sitting around the dining room table that Meg had refinished, drinking a spoiled bottle of wine Carly + I brought back from our semester abroad in Italy. We clung tight to each other reminiscing of all the good times we shared in a feeble attempt to avoid acknowledging the elephant in the room: the reality that we wouldn't be returning together in the Fall. We struggled to stay in the moment + make our final hours as roomies4life last... for we needed them to last for a lifetime.

They don't warn you how hard life after college will be. When you reach the point on the brink of adulthood when you set out to conquer the world... and for the first time in a long time, the four of you head in completely different directions. You are finally able to choose the people you want to surround yourself with and on that first morning when you wake up and the three girls {you would live with for a lifetime if social laws would allow it} are not standing around the island in your kitchen recounting all the hilarious things that happened the night before, you fall to pieces... because that's exactly what you are when you're not all together. A discombobulated mess who habitually forgets her debit card, can't cook to save her life and loathes sleeping alone.   

Your college years are about discovering who you are... and while I am far from being her, these three lovelies constantly encourage me to be the person I was born to be.

They are my voice of reason. my reality check. my source of endless laughter. my shoulder to weep on. my mirror image. my muse.

While they have been there for me in the hardest of times, they have taught me more about myself than any life lesson ever will. Jess, always doing the right thing, reminding me the importance of putting others before yourself, using manners and making my bed. Megan showing me that there is a satisfaction to be found in simplicity; the most joy comes from the smallest things in life. And Carly, unafraid of taking chances, always inspiring me to dream bigger and helping me to understand how liberating independence can be. 

We are more than succeeding in finding ourselves... without losing each other. Jess just celebrated her third year of marriage and will be welcoming her first baby girl at any moment. Megan is engaged to her best friend and cosseting a new puppy named River. Carly is excelling in a career that takes most people a decade to reach the level she is at... if they are talented enough to even reach it all. And as for me, my life is exactly what I imagined it to be... well, except for the marriage, baby, puppy and writing career... but for now, I'm happy living vicariously through their endeavors.

We have shared each other's pain. We have relished in each other's good fortune. We have laughed together, cried together and endured every emotion in between. We have been there, supporting each other through every decision we have ever made that has led us to where we are at in our lives and I'm so proud of how far we've come, who we've grown to be and feel so blessed to call them my other halves. 

The adventures of this past decade have been nothing shy of amazing but our futures look fabulously fantastic and I absolutely cannot wait to see what will be written in the next chapter. and the chapter after that.  

...and for the day when history repeats itself and our four baby girls go off to college together, we will get to relive it all again through them. one dance party that leaves scars at a time. 

It will be a circle full of best friends forever come full circle.    

they say it rains everyday in seattle...

 ...but in the six weeks I have been a pseudo-Seattle resident, I have only felt the touch of cool raindrops on my bare skin twice! 

Yesterday, my friend Heather and I headed down to a paddle club called Agua Verde (near our hospital!) and paddled around the harbour all afternoon! It was such a beautiful day out! We ventured all along the shore swooning over the adorable houseboats that line Portage Bay! Then we challenged all the yachts and sailboats through the channel to get to Lake Washington where we relaxed in an arboretum. Afterwards, we enjoyed a delightful lunch of mangodillas (mango quesadillas... you know it!) at the cafe on top of the kayak rental place. It was such a lovely afternoon! =)  

 

The arboretum was a peaceful little cove filled with lily pads and ducks and {dead} turtles! 

aHHHHgust!

aHHHHgust. Something about the first of the month falling on a Monday motivates me in an awe-inspiring way that the scatterbrained, procrastinator in me needs at this moment. Fabulous milestones are being reached in the next few weeks. Baby Ella will be making her much-anticipated arrival any day now. Kara & Creed are coming to visit. I'll be meeting up with Deidre in Vegas for the awesome stagette she is planning for Sammi. I will become a trained doula. ReeseyBird will turn one. I will turn twenty-five {cue quarter life crisis!} I will learn how to let go & pour all my love in to a puppy. My current contract in Seattle will expire... and I will have to decide where to go from here. Summer will come to an end and there are so many new leaves that will turn over come Fall.

It's a little overwhelming but in order to relish in all its fancy goodness that has continually filled the mason jar of my life right up to the brim this summer, there are few {gasp!} adult things I need to get done first. I need a strong finish in my classes (did I mention I signed up for a second class this summer and its been a challenge... to say the least... not because its overly hard but because I'm not as good at naturally balancing school & work & play as I had hoped...) 

Yes, MUCH more balance would be good. Balance in the meals I eat. A more consistent exercise regime would be great. A little more sleep would be lovely, too. I am going to spend the majority of August finding that perfect Libra-esque balance that is embedded in my astrological make-up right here in my temporary home of Seattle... no planes, trains or automobiles... Just me & my centre of gravity... learning to embrace the rich life that is right outside my window... starting with the most challenging lesson in balancing this city offers: paddleboard yoga!  August will be an entire four weeks of working lots + exercising hard + sleeping in + studying much + soaking up the last days of summer... basking in the sunshine... repetitively rehearsing my act of balancing... even if its on a raft in the middle of a lake in true summering fashion! =)

Happy first day of a new month. Happy first day of a new week. Oh, happy day to you!

perpetual picnics, endless wines + bottomless bellinis.

 LA super comes to life in the summer. The sun is perpetually shining. The wine is continually pouring. & the music! The live music permeates the air surrounding every street corner, outdoor venue and restaurant patio in the major metropolitan area. In between going for our habitual {delicious} sushi night where we consume the perfect mix of raw fish + fruit (like salmon + strawberries, avocado + tempura shrimp!) and wash it down with a Kirin light... followed by the second night ritual of gourmet Mexican where we venture in to a different area of LA (this time, we tried Spanish Kitchen in Carly's new West Hollywood neighborhood) and always order the fresh guacamole + usually split some sort of tortilla/rice/bean combination while sippin' on my summer addiction {Micheladas!!} with Sydney...

 Carly + I spent this past weekend doing some major day drinking summering. Saturday we headed up the Pacific Coast Highway with a carload of friends to join the various birthday fetes that were happening at a little gem by the name of Malibu Wines. Picnic packed with the infamous Bay Cities subs, we found the perfect patch of grass to lay out our blankets, take in the Latin guitar-playing duo and order wine by the bottle from this awesome airstream!     

Wine flights?! But, of course!  

Sunday we took advantage of Carly's last weekend in Santa Monica + biked to the Third Street Promenade where we spent four fabulous hours drinking bottomless bellinis over lunch on a rooftop patio with the first friend I made in LA + co-founder of the late S.P.I. club, Lindsay!, who I am so sad I did not get a picture with but I will definitely remember to when she comes to visit her hometown just outside of Seattle in a couple of weeks!  

 The rest of Sunday was spent out on the promenade watching street performers, seeing Friends with Benefits {in which I just might be  Mila's character + just might be seriously considering becoming a F.W.B.} + eating American burgers + cheesy tots at umami in true SanMon-resident fashion! =) 

But come Monday... oh! Monday was the highlight of my weekend escape to LA when the perpetual picnic continued at the Hollywood Bowl to see the ever-sexy Pat Monahan + Adam Levine! 

Loving these quintessential summer nights!! Happy Summering, y'all!! 

stickin' to my hood.

Unfamiliar with the Seattle area, I have quite enjoyed getting lost as a unique way of discovering new little areas full of coffee shops/yoga studios/boutiques/cupcakeries/parks. Every time I walk to the Pike/Pine area I always try to take a different route to see what little shops of awesomeness I pass along the way. In Seattle, there is a plethora of organic food markets {vegan french toast flavoured donut, anyone?}, vintage clothing shops and awesome home decor stores {to name a few favourites} ... but last week I veered off my usual path and ended up at a Trader Joes on the North side of town. As I proudly stepped out of my car admiring my superb parallel parking job, I saw an elderly man face plant out of the corner of my eye and I immediately sprinted over to him where I quickly realized he was profusely bleeding... out of his eyes, nose and a huge gash on his cheek bone. I couldn't tell if he was conscious and whether he had fallen due to a heart attack or because he had tripped on the uneven pavement. Another bystander had watched the entire thing happen as well and helped me roll him over. The old man was stunned but thankfully, still breathing and his heart was {thankfully} still beating. He was lying there with his hearing aid smashed on the ground and kept saying, "my wife, my wife". His wife was nowhere in sight and I immediately thought she had passed away several years ago and he was delusional and remembering her in this time of a near-death incident. You are not going to meet her in Heaven today, sir. Not on my sparkley blue watch. {Turns out she was waiting in the car for him and we were able to locate her but for those .76 seconds, it added to my heartache tenfold}. He had a handkerchief in his pocket and after my assessment (lesson #1 in nursing school), I immediately used it to apply pressure (lesson #2)... because to be completely honest, they are the only two things I remember from nursing school where I learned about how to adequately care for adults for a cajillion hours a week for four years... and the proceeded to never use any of it in a real setting and consequently, have forgotten EVERYTHING I once knew. 

I waited until the fire department arrived before I started to cry attempted to grab a few things in TJs before heading into work... I obviously was too freaked out to concentrate on buying groceries because I returned home with a bag full mango: dried mango, frozen mango cubes, 2 real mangoes, mango green tea, mango gelato and mango granola cereal {nothing really of sustenance!}... As I wandered around the store aimlessly trying to calm my nerves and refrain from downing a bottle of 2-buck Chuck right there in the frozen food aisle, people kept putting their hand on my shoulder telling me how well I handled this minor medical emergency... Just about the time I would compose myself, I'd turn down the next aisle and some other citizen was standing there to thank me... It was awful... having to be a nurse... Out of the controlled, sterile bubble that is usually reserved for me to save lives in. I was so thankful to return to my intensive care unit later that night with my monitors and crash carts and medical team at my disposal... My little babies might be much more critical but at least their blood comes in small doses and I know if their heart is beating at all times. I think I'll be sticking around my 'hood. 

I was reminded of this story when there was an unlocate-able fire in my unit last night. They must have called Code Red a million times over the loud speaker while the alarms went off and we tried to locate the aprons we were supposed to stuff all the babies in to and triage which ones would stay and go (survival of the fittest, my friend)... then the fire fighters showed up in full garb and were also unsuccessful in locating the fire... I guess it was a false alarm but it definitely made the night go by quick! 

she swOOns Sundays by the seawall.

and writes about her swOOns Tuesday afternoons...

I had a fabulous weekend in Vancouver reflecting swOOning by the seawall over all the little things that make my life swirly-swOOn-spectacular! 

First and foremost: how swOOntacular is it that I live a short, scenic {missed!!} train ride away from my Auntie?!! Saturday night we had a little date night on Granville Island seeing an adorable play entitled Birth Control Mom's the Word: Remixed which was an awesome little production, one I envision Carly to star in when she grows up ... err... settles down... moves out of LA and joins her local playhouse to escape the complacency of adulthood that neither one of us are ready to succumb to ... I cannot wait to capitalize on our avoidance of growing up... setting down... this weekend with a trip to LA LA Land to see Car... where we will be spending our weekend on a perpetual picnic! swOOOOOOn. 

Sunday Auntie P. and I played an incessant amount of crib + yahtzee and saw Bridesmaids before I had a sleepover with a complete stranger... which turned out to be a fabulous date with my new bestie (I hope its okay that I publicly define our relationship!) where we closed down a sushi restaurant and spent all day Monday shopping on Robson and donning {accidentally matching} frilly, polka dotted bathing suits to catch some rays & discuss when we were going to get to do this again!? The weekend after next at Shuswap lake? SwOOOOOn.   

Reality hit hard this morning when I returned to Seattle and my engine threatened to fall out of my car. I probably should be more concerned with the severity of a "broken engine" but instead I find myself swOOOning over my superb adult decision of an extended warranty twenty months ago, the new-car smell of the rental they gave me that came off the truck yesterday and the yellow nail polish I had pedicured on my toes while I waited next door at Star Nails for the dealership to tell me what the rattling under my car was... swOOOON. 

This video? swOOOON.

I swOOn over the brilliant combination of many things... like La Croix's sparkling + coconut water, kickboxing + Pilates, traveling + nursing... but paddleboarding and yoga might just be my new favourite combination of fabulous things!! I have signed up to take a couple of lessons on a SUP before combining it with yoga in the middle of the lake to minimize as much contact with lake water as possible... thank you, Living Social for your awesome deals! swOOOOn.

SwOOnworthy author to note: Jonathan Tropper. I randomly happened upon one of his books in the airport last week and I became instantly completely obsessed with his writing. I usually spend my summers reading chicklit but his hilarious, man humour is a nice, needed change from the usual summer love story! swOOOn.
The arrival of Piper Hadley on July 7th! She is perfect and healthy. Welcome to the World, baby girl!! Congratulations Katie, Dustin and big sister Kylie!!! Can we talk about the adorableness of that baby and that bow that I'm now trying to get my NICU to order? swOOOOn.

I saw this bike in a Club Monaco of all places this past weekend and I am bound and determined to make it mine one day... in real life... not just in my dreams... Go on, you can swOOOn too. 

One last thing, I made the decision to not have cable this summer before I moved to Seattle {and realized I lived above a Starbucks and would not need internet connected!} to have no distractions from watching lectures and no reason to stay inside when I could be out on a patio or hiking or exploring my new neighbourhood... I downloaded a CNN app that sends me updates to stay current on the World's affairs but I also signed up for a free trial of Netflix and thanks to my Auntie's recommendation... am totally in love with the British sitcom The IT Crowd! It is the perfect nonsense to fall asleep to. swOOOn. 


And I swOOOn every time a new follower shares their bloglovin!! Thank you for your sweet words!! What are y'all swOOning over this summer??

ride the wind.

When my blood runs warm with the warm red wine, I miss the life that I left behind. 

But when I hear the sound of the black birds cry, I know I left in the nick of time.

Well this road I'm ons gonna turn to sand and leave me lost in a far off land.

 So let me ride the wind 'til I don't look back, 
forget the life that I almost had. 

Location: The Pacific Ocean, Arenas Del Mar, Manuel Antonio, Costa Rica

a big day at fenway.

Last Thursday, my little brother was invited to sing The National Anthem at a Red Sox Game at Fenway Park! It was incredible getting to share this very special experience with him... just as he has shared in mine + my sister's momentous occassions(graduation after graduation after graduation)... It was a perfect summer night for celebrating his gift, the voice of an angel... and feeling its effects through the energy on the field as he moved every person in that stadium...
It was one of those moments in life that you will never forget... the day of the week {It was a Thursday night in July}, what you were wearing {Kara and I had tried on every red shirt with a pair of socks embellishment in the souvenir shop}, the people surrounding you {the whole family got to be there and they arrived in a limo}... this will be one of those stories you tell over and over again recalling every last detail!


As we walked out on to the field, I tried to take it all in... the men painting the lines freshly around the diamonds, the smell of fresh cut grass intermixed with wafts of hotdogs and cracker jacks, the way it felt when the dirt crumbled between my toes, the vibrations of the fans stomping on the metal stadium as every seat was filled... every game has been sold out since 2003, you know?

If you are wondering where Christopher gets his {angel} wings, you're looking at the two most amazing parents responsible for who he has grown to be... not to mention, his two brothers and two sisters that love and support him and have helped shape him in to the loving, gentle ten-year-old boy he is with the utmost hilarious sense of humor and an intelligence that's almost too impressive to believe!

He had a huge fan base there to support him, too... nearly fifty people including his school principal and special education teacher were in attendance! It was very apparent how much he has touched the lives of the people in his hometown sitting in a section with rows and rows filled with people there just to see him sing. "I wouldn't have missed this for the world!"
It was disability awareness night. Legally blind and autistic, Christopher is doing his part, one octave at a time, to not just raise awareness but raise an incredible amount of hope for people living {and superceding every obstable you face} with a disability.

The boy who sang before he could talk received a standing ovation the entire way off the field... and under the stadium... and up through our section... and in to our seats! It was such an incredible night with the entire Duffley family and all their friends rejoicing with the tens of thousands of people who instantly became fans of Christopher!

Christopher Sings National Anthem from Jocelyn Kirk on Vimeo.

My Dear Christopher,
I'm not sure if there will ever come a day that I don't cry when I hear your voice. Singing Open the Eyes of My Heart, reciting The Polar Bear Express from memory, naming all the fifty states... Although we live miles a part, I carry you with me always.
You are constantly, unknowingly encouraging me to strive forward. I hear your voice in moments of weakness. I hear your voice every day at my job, reminding me to have patience with the extra-fussy babies and be calm in the emergent situations. You were here once too, remember? 
You have taught me a lot in the decade that you have been a part of my life. You have taught me about perserverance. You have shown me the power of prayer. You have inspired me to never give up. You are a reminder that everything happens for a reason, even the unfairest of outcomes. They, too have a purpose... whether to teach us a lesson, make us stronger, inspire those around us...
You are loved beyond measure.
... although that measurement was almost tangible last Thursday when nearly 40,000 people cheered for you and clapped for you and cried for you and loved you!

sneak peek via instagram.

Kara and I flew in to Boston from our respective corners of the world at the same time Thursday morning. We cabbed it to the hotel, set down our luggage and immediately booked it to Fenway Park to attend Christopher's 12:30 sound check. 

 It was incredible hearing him sing in front of a sold out crowd of 37,400 later that night but standing there on the field just the four of us hearing the sound of his sweet voice reverberate through the empty stadium was absolutely amazing, one of those surreal instants in life where you can literally feel the Earth's spin slowing down on its axis to allow you to enjoy this fleeting moment a little bit longer.


Off to enjoy my last morning with Christopher + Kara before flying back to Seattle this afternoon where I will post more pix + a video! =)