Saturday, November 05, 2011

the work you do while you procrastinate...

... is probably the work you should be doing for the rest of your life. Less and less is nursing the work I feel compelled to do... Its part of the paradigm shift that is governing the unknown direction I am headed in this next twenty-five years of my life. A huge part of what sets an amazing nurse a part from the average RN is the heart you put in to each and every shift; the fervour to go the extra mile; the eagerness to learn more in a fast-paced environment that is an ICU. The extra care you use when you turn a preemie. The genuine hugs you give a new mom who begins to cry when she sees her tiny baby under bili lights in an incubator for the first time. The patience you must have rocking the chronic neonates for hours on end to try to ease their pain. The extra time it takes to teach a parent to change a microscopic diaper and perfectly tuck a baby in until his next feed. The critical thinking you must possess to catch a subtle cue that could mean the difference between life or death. It is a necessity to pour your whole heart in to the entire twelve hours of every shift in order to make a difference and ultimately, to save a life... As much as I give at my job, I take even more with me. The amount of tears I have shed when babies pass away or the anxiety I feel when growing babies get sick with an infection that will soon shut down every organ in their body is overwhelming, at times. Most nights, it scares me immensely working in an intensive care unit. Most days, I carry the burden of my fears everywhere I go... questioning why I was destined to do my life's work. I often wonder how I got here and where I would be if I wasn't in the medical field. What my life would be like if I pursued another passion...  

2 comments:

Katie said...

Nooooo!!!! The cold hard world of the NICU needs people like you!!! You have passion for all those things you talked about. You have the heart a lot of other nurses don't. Being a NICU mom, I could only imagine how much I would have loved and appreciated someone like you taking care of my baby. Don't pursue another passion... Maybe just a vacation, or a little break, but don't leave the NICU!! :)

Katie said...

ohhh speaking of vacations I have a great one... Florida for Thanksgiving??? Please say yes!!!! I have a squishy baby that needs to meet you!! :)