It is never an easy decision... one that ultimately the parents have to make. The decision that furthering care is only prolonging the inevitable. That while we can sustain a life, she will not actually live one day of it. How do you decide? How do you set the date of death?
All cases in the NICU are super sad but every once in a while, there are certain patient's stories that hit me harder than others; mostly the ones without the happy endings. The ones that I can't rationalize in my head that it is okay. The ones that I find myself at the bedside constantly asking myself why bad things happen to good people? Why the sweetest families that truly appreciate all the care provided for them and their baby seem to always have the worst outcomes.
I think I have cried every day at work for the past month observing a situation you can only hope you yourself will never have to face; the ultimate test of strength. Strength as a mom. Strength as a wife. Strength as a person. The strength to let go. The strength to overcome. The strength to move on.
As I left the hospital tonight, I shed my usual tears but this time it was tears of relief, knowing you will finally be in a better place. You touched the hearts of many people in your short little life. Rest in peace, baby girl.