Wednesday, April 27, 2011

hidden behind a {smile}.

Being completely raw + vulnerable, the photo on the left was taken literally minutes before the photo on the right yesterday (it was not by choice I had to do a mini-photoshoot, too... where naturally, the light was all wrong + the poses were all awkward). From the moment I woke up, I knew it was going to one of those days... where nothing seemed to go right. Where you feel overwhelmed because your overcommitted self is being pulled in a million different directions + all you can do is spin recklessly in circles. Where you feel uncertain about where your life will be in a short four weeks from now. Where you find a family photo that is missing you. Where a post titled "six" you scheduled to post April 26th way back in January surfaced on its own yesterday... and sent a surge of pain through my spine. Where you cannot silence the whisper from the void of your heart that has been growing louder and louder as you figure out what it is that makes you undeniably happy... instead of fading away, like everyone promised would happen with the passage of time. It will get  easier, they said. Just give it time. Where you fear the unknown + struggle with the things you cannot control. Where you are starting to realize your  pursuit of happiness is leading you right back to where you started... and you wonder if he feels it, too...
Be still my heart, sometimes right back where you started from is right where you belong.

1 comment:

~Rachel said...

Thinking of you girl!