Sunday, October 03, 2010

ready. set. create.

I've been desperately searching for an outlet to relight my fire, so to speak. I have been feeling like I am in an uncreative (read: unhappy) rut for almost a year now and was struggling (big time!) for a big, blue ladder to get me out. My usual go-tos for not just expression but also for the inspiration to express seemed to have gotten lost in my hasty move to Winnipeg. Perhaps they're still packed in the box Sharpie'ed LIFE or maybe I was just so sad when I first moved up here that I did not adequately pursue said oh-so-important outlets but the fact-of-the-matter is it had been a year and I had yet to find my utopias - friends, exercise, blogging, taking pictures, culture. All the gravitational pulls that makes my world go round while simultaneously keeping me grounded. I usually embrace change. crave change. need change. I am a lover of change but when A LOT of change happens at once, I have learned I don't cope very well. I realize I need at least one familiar, positive energy source to find the "fabulousness" in all the new elements. About five weeks ago, when I temporarily moved in with my amazing cousin, she introduced me to a local artist and an online creative course she was offering. I was a little,  scratch that, VERY!!! nervous to sign up but have to admit, kinda loved the feeling of being nervous because life had felt so mundane recently there was no opportunity to push myself outside of my comfort zone and I was pretty sure the last time I had felt nervous excitement like that was the 5-day drive from Cali to here! If you peruse her website (which you can find here...I hope I'm not infringing on any copyrights by posting this magnificent piece of inspiration of hers), you will see that she is an incredible painter and because I have never considered myself artistic, I thought I would downright suck at this 5-week class but her class just isn't about art. It's about finding yourself. Defining yourself. Reinventing yourself. I've noticed that Kal's "art" is similar to the "art" I create that I didn't even recognize as art - pictures (mine taken with a camera, hers drawn + painted!) with some sort of inspirational saying accompanying them. It's like psychology in the form of artism. I'm only three weeks in but I think I've done it - my imagination's aflame + my creativity is back. I'm blogging. I'm working out. I'm viewing the world through photo ops! I've restarted overusing the word "fabulous". I've even started to (quasi!) enjoy my job some days. This pathological optimist must have found her misplaced rose-colored glasses because even my glass of vino is starting to look half full.  eeeee yaaay =)

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