megan getting married.

Megan's getting married and I was so excited to be able to help her pick out one of the only details left to order ... invitations! We went t0 a stationary store in D.C. and felt all the pretty paper and looked at all the different examples. With the huge help of her mom back home, she has been carefully planning the most beautiful wedding that is a reflection of the milestones in Danny and Meg's relationship. There's so many small details that go into planning a wedding and because Megan has been dreaming about this wedding long before Danny popped the question, most details were picked out pre-engagement! I was ecstatic when Megan told me she still hadn't decided on the paper because I love stationary and it was fun being a part of the planning! 7 months to go til the big day!  

inner vagabond.

I made a pact once. Eight years ago to be exact. Partially a plight with others but mostly a promise to myself. A solemn vow to not let my history define my future. An eternal oath to never let the fatal cynicism of defeatists influence my ability to succeed. An individual entente to always look forward. Forward to tomorrow. To a challenge. To a dream.
Where does one begin when they feel like they are at the end? The world is your oyster; set out in search of the pearl.
Where does one find comfort when they reach a plateau of perseverance? Focus on the positive for the greatest optimism can manifest from the most trying tribulations if you have the right glasses on to see it... you know, the rose-colored ones.
How do you find solace in uncertainty... the only thing constant is change? Everything happens for a reason; simply live to find out why. Value the lessons learned and look to the bright side. Embrace change... happily.
Seize everyday. Have no regrets. Be in the moment. Flirt with karma. Love with reckless abandon. Find the inner vagabond in you.
Not all who wander are lost, after all.

better days.

And you asked me what I want this year
and I try to make this kind and clear
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
'cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings
and designer love and empty things
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words and sing out loud
'cause everyone is forgiven now
'cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I need some place simple where we could live
and something only you can give
and that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive
and the one poor child who saved this world
and there's ten million more who probably could
if we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words and sing out loud
'cause everyone is forgiven now
'cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight
and somehow stop this endless fight
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words and sing out loud
'cause everyone is forgiven now
'cause tonight's the night the world begins again

'cause tonight's the night the world begins again

suburbia.

I spent a lot of time in a quaint suburb of D.C. at Megan's godparents' house... the exact house I want to have one day. You know the one that always feels like home when you walk in (even though I had never met them before). The kitchen is always full of conversation and smells of a fabulous meal being made; the beds are so comfy you fall asleep the second your head hits the pillow and the sheets smell like fresh linen. The walls are adorned with family photos  and everyone knows their neighbors. It was fabulous getting to spend Easter with the Gallos & Rodriguezes here! =) 

family portrait.

Enjoying one of Barb and Patti's wonderful homemade meals 

Ms. Kirk & Ms. Gallo

Ms. Kirk and Ms. Gallo has a fabulous day teaching first graders (ages 6 & 7) on Tuesday. Ms. Gallo (Megan) has 17 adorable students in her class. We picked them up from the cafeteria at 7:45 and spent six hours learning and laughing with them. We practiced measurements in math. We learned new spelling words with the "ow" sound (owl, town, mouse, etc.). We read books with the fourth graders and in the afternoon, Ms. Kirk (that's me!) taught them a science/health lesson about the skeleton and all the bones in our body and made clay figures to feel what it would be like without a skeleton! It was such a fun day! =)

megan & danny.

I had the best time this weekend with Megan & Danny! A match made in Washington, D.C. it was so fabulous to see the next chapter of their life (post Florida State University where they spent the last 4 years together!) in the nation's capitol. Living in the quaint town of Alexandria, they have created an incredible foundation for their new life together, Megan teaching first grade and Danny working as an accountant for a non-profit in the district. My favorite part of my trip was just joking with Danny over a delicious home-cooked meal made by Megan watching Jeopardy and playing cribbage. I took this photo at a vineyard that we visited over the weekend. They are perfect.  

life of riley.

I learned a new phrase doing the crossword puzzle today: "Life of Riley". When the answer was "easy", I became curious of who this Riley was and why his life was easy. Turns out he was a radio comedian whose life was later made into a feature film and tv series in the 1950's. The expression suggests an ideal life of prosperity and contentment. Pictured here with Jay Leno and Jess, this is just one of the many ways in which I am happy to say I live a life of riley. What a revoltin' development this is! =)

teach for america.

Tomorrow I will be guest teaching in Ms. Gallo's first grade class. Megan was one of only 2,000 people accepted in the two-year program, Teach for America, last year in which fresh, young faces are brought into inner city schools to make a difference in the lives of underprivileged children with their optimistic belief in the childrens' ability to succeed. Much like the Peace Corps, TFA is a non-profit organization that is geared at training teachers to serve in low-income schools and work with the high risk population. I am so excited to share in her job for the day and read them a book about bones and give them a lesson in health! =)

request to the editor.

easter babies.

Two of the most important people in my life share the same birthday today. Kara and I celebrated her birthday together (Happy 24th Birthday!) for 12 days in LA last week and this week, my biff Megan and I are celebrating her birthday together in the district (Happy 23rd Birthday, Megalina!). We've stayed up super late every night talking (it's what we do best!) and here's what we've come to the conclusion of so far: We have been best friends for half our lives (11 and half years!!) and in that time I have adopted her parents, ate her lunch everyday in middle school, spent every weekend perfecting screwdrivers and prophesizing about our futures (and everyone's around us, too) in high school, spent college psychoanalyzing our (past, current and future) relationships in between summers abroad and March of Dimes wine tastings. This past year she moved to DC to selflessly serve in Teach for America while obtaining her masters at George Mason and planning the wedding of the century which will take place this fall. MALYTAB

daffodils.

delightful daffodils at the Bellagio.

laugh.dance.dream.

Kara, Carly, Sydney and I did a lot of laughing, dancing and dreaming last week attending a taping of the Ellen Show! Acquiring tickets to ELLEN show is quite difficult and required Kara stalking the website the weeks before they were available to obtain 4 coveted seats (in the front row, might I add) but it was definitely worth it! Ellen is hilarious and her amazing studio is practically in my backyard (if backyards existed in LA). We laughed with Ellen (you may have seen our laughs on TV), danced with Ellen (before the show, between every commercial break and even all the way off the lot back to the car) and dreamed with Ellen (working the night before and spending all day at the taping before returning to work that very same night, I was quite delusional at the taping and could have fallen asleep standing up if I wasn't laughing and dancing so hard!) Hardly ever sleeping these days, I feel like I now have 14 day weeks being awake all day and working all night.. I have adopted the new life motto of "awake is the new sleep" for I never stop. Take today for instance: Woke up at 10:30, did 3 loads of laundry, swiffered the apt, mailed my Easter packages at the post office, ran thru runyon canyon, ran to Target, played Easter bunny, packed, cleaned my room, repacked so I am only bringing one suitcase, updated my IPOD for the plane, blogged, unpainted my nails (I can't have nail polish on at work), packed my lunch box and now I am off to work tonight and then catching a flight to Washington, DC in the morning after my 12-hour shift for 6 fabulous days with Megan and Danny (and the Gallos!) where I am sure we will do lots more laughing, dancing and dreaming. Thank goodness I don't have a boyfriend... where would I find the time to be in love?

highlights.

I have put off posting pictures of Jess' visit in hopes to add the pictures that she took while she was here to the video but it's been almost a month and the impatient blogger that I am has given up... here are the highlights of when she was here (including a video of what it's like to ride a tandem bike down steep hills to the beach after happy hour...) We went to Pantages theatre to see Grease! is the word .. an adorable musical complete with Taylor Hicks as Teen Angel (who came out for an encore performance at the end!) 

We went to a UCLA gymnastics meet (one of our favorite things to do in college!) and enjoyed mani/pedis in Burbank. We soaked up the sun and shopped in the adorable beach town of Laguna and visited Huntington where her Mum grew up. We met Paige for great sushi and hockey at the Staples Center downtown. We were pulled on stage VIP-style at Jay Leno. We hiked through the hills and took many moments just to reminisce... there's no one I can laugh more with than her! It was a fun-packed five days that went by way too fast. I keep trying to convince her to move to Cali (CHLA is hiring!) and I promised to split the $5000 bonus with her that I would get for recommending a quality employee to an understaffed not-for-profit hospital. Our ED needs you, Jess! It's for the kids! ... I'll be honest, it's for my health too. Do you know how hard it is to live with a fourth of you missing? 

sprinkles.

enjoying sprinkles cupcakes at inspiration point in newport beach.

cameo.

   I haven't a clue to how my story will end. But that's alright. When you set out on a journey and night covers the road, that's when you discover the stars.

poker face.

totally bogus.

Today would have been bogus' 12th birthday. unfortunately, he used up all his nine lives a couple of weeks shy of turning 84 in cat years. I'm sure happy I got to relish in his Canadian retirement with him this summer hardly knowing there was bone cancer developing inside him as he youthfully attacked me in my mother's wedding dress! We got Bogus from Kara's grade six science teacher when I was in elemenary school. He was named after a movie I watched on a plane with Whoopie Goldberg about a boy who had an imaginary friend named "Bogus". I don't think I learned the meaning of the word bogus until a few years later but he definitely grew into his name as he was constantly doing things that were "totally bogus" like opening doors and lifting the lid off the cage of our pet hamsters for lunch. "Boguswogus" as Kara always called him was the best damn cat. He always slept with Kara and I as a kitten and even though I always wanted to give him a bath and dressed him up and tried to train him to walk on a leash, that fat cat (over 20 pounds!) loved me anyways (and all the cans of tuna I mistook for cat food). Beating feline leukemia, a snake bite that required a shunt in his paw, chronic urinary tract infections, and a laundry list of costly health problems... he went through all nine lives much sooner than your average cat. Being greated by his loving purr was the only thing constant in my life for a long time and now, along with the Strawberry Shortcake room I grew up in, a mum to make me fettucini alfredo "just the way I like it" and the tape separating mine and Kara's sides of the room, a part of me feels like one of the last parts of my childhood is gone now too. He died a happy cat. We sent him to retire with Grams when Kara and I both moved into apartments that didn't allow pets while in college. He spent the last couple of years chasing birds, seeing snow for the first time and getting cat hair on everything Grams owned. He found it just as exciting to lay across her newspaper as he did our homework. I'm really going to miss that damn cat.

aussie's hottest export.

sydney and I enjoying my staple "cranberry and vodka" at Prive.

Kara and Kelley's first trip to Vegas ... After an afternoon of walking the strip through all the hotels and casinos and before a night filled of drinks and dancing in an amazing club (with an incred! dj, of course!) where it literally rained money, losing their Vegas virginity just wouldn't have been complete without seeing Thunder from Down Under VIP... I didn't mind going to see the sexy brutes half-naked (again)!

After the show with the sexiest Aussie export... where do we sign up to be Australian imports?!

who you know.

L to R: Joey, Kara, me, Carly and Kevin

It's not about what you know in life... it's who you know that really helps you get by... and I know a friend of a friend who holds season tickets to the LA Kings! The view from the 9th row was dramatically different from last week's seats when Jess was here where she, Paige and I saved money by buying nosebleeds to afford to go to a nice sushi dinner before the game and to afford drinking hazelnut beers during the game... we had a lot of fun up high in the rafters with a rugby team from Vancouver but tonight, Joey (a good friend from high school that works at a very swirly golf course out here and therefore has a lot of connections to swirly people and their swirly lifestyles!) hooked us up with 6 seats nine rows up from the ice... it was fabulous! Aside from the fact that I still have never made it for a puck drop, only recently have learned that frosting and icing are not interchangeable terms like they are in baking, will probably always cringe at the first sign of a fight (even though I don't personally know any of the players) and will never understand how the guys know when their line is supposed to be on the ice (or how they dress themselves in those uniforms!) ... besides, it's not what you know that counts anyways... I've really come to love the game of hockey! =) btw... Auntie Paul, you'll be happy to know your adorable t-shirts were advertised on the big screen at the game tonight!! =)

happy endings.

After Carly's season finale tonight, the trio headed to Toi for some tasty Thai food. Afterwards, we met up with my friend from work at a very popular bar down the street in Hollywood called Happy Endings. The place is always packed; a great bar with an awesome dj spinning an eclectic mix of music (Kate Walsh and the entire Private Practice cast were there celebrating a birthday!) when a guy started talking to me... that was the first guy I have met in LA that didn't instantly annoy me. He wasn't a short guy with a pretty face and all too big ego to make up for his lack in height. He didn't assume I was an aspiring actress and his jaw didn't even hit the floor in disbelief processing the concept that I could actually be "a real nurse". He wasn't using his monologue to pick me up and he didn't hand me his head shot to remember him by (okay, no one's actually done that but every hipster does seem to never be able to get out character). I could tell he was from the East Coast because he was wearing a collared Polo and had (yet) not fallen to the trendy demise of tacky t-shirts that could just as easily be a tattoo. And to top it off  he was from Winnipeg. He seemed pretty alright. Until... as Carly is simultaneously texting me from the bar down the street "I have never been hit on more in my entire life! I hate single life!" (we are not used to being out without each other to rescue one another from awkward hit-ons or save us from forced dancing!)... I made the mistake of asking him what brought him to the States... "School." "Oh, where at?" "Cornell." "Really? I had friends that played hockey there." "Get out, I played hockey there!?" The conversation started going downhill real fast when he proceeded to tell me that not only did he grow up in Manitoba, move to Cornell to play hockey but he was now on the West Coast applying to med schools to obtain a 4-year degree in health. Fuck me. Thankfully, it was last call as I have never had a fairy tale fade so fast. So much for my happy ending. 

what lies beneath.

I'm on a mission to uncover what lies beneath.

the strand.

Kara, Kelley and I went down to Hermosa Beach today and rented beach cruisers where we spent the entire afternoon leisurely riding along the Strand, which is a path that runs through all the beach towns along the Pacific Coast and is filled with runners, skate boarders, cyclists and even rollerbladers. It was incredibly relaxing (if you have the capability of letting go). We biked over twenty miles up to Venice Beach (and back) where we took in the cultural diversity mixed amongst the masses of dogs and aroma of marijuana, soaked up the sun by the piers and stopped at the cutest fisherman's village to enjoy live raggae music.   

nobody but me.

i stare at your photograph. still sleep in the shirt you left. nobody knows it but me.

the big sleep.

Today, our book-to-movie club met for our review of Raymond Chandler's A Big Sleep. Set in LA, it was exciting to read a murder mystery where the high speed chases are on roads that I drive on everyday! I fell in love with Phillip Marlowe's character and as Lindsay so perfectly put it, Marlowe really set the stereotype for detectives to be witty and cynical in all spy stories to come. My first experience with classic films, I was really glad I had read the book first so I was engaged from the very first black-and-white scene... something that normally isn't my cup of tea. Humphrey Bogart's perfect execution of Marlowe's charming yet ruthless character was phenom and a complete surprise ending, the love story that unveiled between Bogart and Bacall was timeless.  A definite must-read! =) Afterwards, we did some "s.p.i."ing of our own and gathered to discuss different schools of philosophical thoughts... 

vicarious.

Kara volunteering with her grad school class... good luck with your finals this week... see you Wednesday!!! =)

Little Lily ...so precocious. I can't wait to meet you this summer!

Save-the-dates: The future Mr. & Mrs. Lucas Wedding plans are coming along fabulously!!

Graduating from the NICU a month before her due date, Baby Kylie is growing so much... good luck Katie with your move to New Mexico to be with Daddy Dustin. 

Because I am nowhere near the point of settling down... I've come to accept that it's virtually impossible to do so while residing in LA which can more easily be compared to some sort of wicked extended vacation than any element of adulthood... I have been living vicariously through all the wonderful people in my life that have started to by meeting the one, having healthy babies, obtaining a graduate degree, buying a house, tying the knot...  all these fabulous milestones they are lucky enough to have reached long before I do... but I absolutely fully intend to one day! I dream of the day that I have sleepless nights because of a newborn baby (and not from living in a city that never sleeps), long to be sitting in class doing a crossword, I mean taking notes about becoming a neonatal nurse practitioner (for now, my SPI club homework will suffice) and are super envious of love struck couples sharing a life together (although I love living with Carly!), I'm just not quite ready to grow up yet. Getting to relish in their happiness helps me fight the urge to go back to school (must learn the basics before I return to grad school to master the advance practices), contain the burning desire to meet my true companion (I hope by not looking for him I magically run into him in the grocery store), patiently wait to be a mom (the one thing I feel I am destined to be the most!) and resist the yearning to plan a wedding... 

metro station.

When Jess and I tried to avoid traffic to get to the Staples Center downtown to go the Kings game Monday night, we decided to try out the metro. Always somewhat afraid of public transportation (as the only p.t. I grew up with was a trolley that took you to the beach) it was super scary at first... it smelled kind of funny, I have no form of self-defense... but now I am obsessed with this eco-friendly way of travelling!! I just hop on the train, read the latest NY Times Bestseller (the metro ticket makes the perfect bookmark) and people watch and take in all the interesting folks public transportation attracts. The metro station is within walking distance of my apt and it only takes 3 stops underground to get to work which takes approximately eleven minutes.... sometimes it would take me eleven minutes just to get on the highway to drive 6 miles to work. My colleagues have started calling me RN-E (Registered Nurse-Environmentalist!) for all the silly ways I try to single-handedly save the Earth. When riding the metro, I was reminded of a picture I took of Jordan in NYC on the subway a couple summers ago ... Who would of thought that while Jord was lost in a sexy spread of the Beckhams, the girl next to him would be reading the biography of our future president?! 

cultural infusion.

One of the many cultural infusions I have discovered in LA is the amount of amazing live music this county possesses and the ultra cool venues these performances are held at! A few weeks ago Carly, Kristy and I attended the album launch party of Mishka, Matthew McConaughey's raggaeton prodigy who has an incredible story to go with his awesome music... that is if you can understand what he is saying. Joe Firstman and Brian Wright of Last Call with Carson Daly's house band (where Carly has returned to working the past couple of months ... this photog is from the tour she gave Jess and I of the NBC studios before getting us VIP seats to Jay Leno last Friday) play random shows all the time in fun venues here, too. While attending one of their shows, I discovered the amazing talent of their opener, Austin Hartley-Leonard... he is phenom! The show has taken a new spin on focusing on unknown artists and I have attended a couple of tapings, one of which was for Robert Francis. Other artists Carly has worked with recently include Robin Thicke, Adelle, Kings of Leon, T.I. and Chris Cornell. My favorite show I've seen in the past couple of months was Josh Kelley on St. Patty's Day where he gave yet another incred performance at Hotel Cafe... and yes, his wife (Katherine Heigl) was in attendance again! But the concert I am most looking forward to is Britney Spears in Las Vegas at the MGM Grand at the end of April!! I highly recommend all of these amaz artists! =)

lost in conversation.

My favorite part of the agenda when Jess was here was the amount of time allotted to just talk ... wake up and chat over a cup of hazelnut coffee (just like in college), stay up all night laughing over a bottle of wine, sing our lungs out on road trips down to orange county, hardly noticing sitting in traffic for hours lost in conversation, exhaust ourselves ruminating while running through the hills or just to be in the company of friends that know you so well you don't have to say anything for them to know exactly what you're thinking... There are so many things that bring me tears when I think about how much I miss having them a part of my life now that we are no longer roommates but I miss our friendly conversations the most.  

starlet.

learn to fly.

I tried to fly once. Little flashes of life streamed through my mind as the serenity that accompanies the feeling of falling sank in deep, almost simultaneously- an outer turbulence. an inner peace. At last, I was free. Falling freely. Free from gravity. Free from constraint. Free from pain. Free from reality.

Where was the logic behind my quantum leap? I'm not too sure I even looked. 

I thrive off definition; I crave concrete. Why wasn't I clinging to the edge of reason? 

Was this the ultimate test of emotional disconnection ... could I let go? Never one able to successfully disengage, this is one lesson I knew I could not pass. I could never entertain apathy; would never want to plunge to a definite death, wreaking of self-satisfaction. In the real reality of it, what I was seeking was just the contrary: the need to feel alive. Feel secure. Feel loved. Feel. 

My attempt to fly was the closest I'd ever come to death in my cosseted upbringing but oddly enough, in this forty-five seconds of my life I had never felt more alive. I was riveted and had failed this assignment... miserably.  

As I plummeted to the ground, this feigned hiatus ended almost as quickly as it had begun. My Houdiniesque escape came to a soaring halt that brought me right back to reality the moment the 'chute was released. It was at that very instant it occurred to me... how would I land without wings? It is not humanly possible. Why had I been so quick to let go initially? If only I had held on to that ledge a little while longer...

Coming down I realized that while I may be set free, removing my restraints would prove to be even more challenging than taking the first jump. I didn't want to hit the ground running but how could I reenter reality without a solid foundation? How was I to attain the asphalt to repair the cracks that would keep me grounded?

 Through purpose. experience. perseverance. laughter. Through growing. learning. enduring. living. Through milestones. mishaps. memories. It will not be a walk in the clouds but it will enable me to land on two unfaltering feet.

Hold tight to the ones you love. Find what makes you feel alive inside. Discover a reason for living. Pursue a passion. Redefine convention. Defy gravity. Learn to fly.